Emotional Discharge

A Peer Counseling Workshop was organised by the Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat Malaysia/Department of Social Welfare Malaysia (JKMM) and the Japan International Cooperation Agency (JICA) from June 25 - 28 at the Institut Latihan Majlis Kebajikan dan Pembangunan Masyarakat Kebangsaan Malaysia (MAKPEM), I conducted two training sessions. One of the was “How to Overcome Oppression and Change Society.” The other is “Emotional Discharge.” Below is an excerpt of my presentation on the second topic:

We have learnt that we as human beings are intelligent, creative, joyful, powerful entities and are capable of loving and being loved.

In this sense, humans should have good relationships with other humans, think and act wisely and enjoy life.

Nevertheless through years of conditioning since childhood where we are told what we should and should not do and together with the hurt that we experienced through various kinds of oppression we develop emotional distress patterns. Emotional distress patterns can include having negative feelings and the breakdown in our relationships with others.

What do we mean by distress? It can be a break-up of a relationship, divorce, death of a loved one, conflict with family members, being abused and oppressed – generally any incident that causes uneasiness to our emotional wellbeing.

For example, we were continuously told that we should not cry when we were hurt when we were young. Therefore as adults now, even when we feel hurt and sad and want to cry, we hold back. We stop ourselves from crying.

Crying is a way of healing. And because society’s norm says we should not cry, we are prevented from recovering from our hurts. When this form of oppression is allowed to continue, we become troubled and frustrated.

When we are deprived of the means to heal from distresses, we consciously or unconsciously create defence mechanisms to protect ourselves from further hurt. This can be in the form of self-limitation attitudes such as giving up and a sense of powerlessness.

It can also manifest itself in the form of aggression, denial and repression. Emotional distress patterns prevent us from thinking clearly and affect us from solving problems in a rational manner.

Peer counseling restores the ability to think rationally and clearly. This is achieved through healing and recovery from emotional distress patterns by guaranteeing a place to release suppressed feelings.

Emotional discharge can be in the form of crying, sweating, trembling, laughing, yawning, shouting and getting angry. After the emotional discharge we are able to think clearly and re-examine the situation that caused distress patterns and look for ways to resolve them.

Through a continuous process of emotional discharge, we are able to break away from the distress patterns. We begin to heal and recover from the hurt of past experiences. We learn to trust people again and develop fulfilling relationships.

When this happens, we regain the true human nature that we are born with – that human beings are intelligent, creative, joyful, powerful entities and are capable of loving and being loved.

The role of the peer counselor is to listen, draw out and encourage the client in the process of emotional discharge. The peer counselor must be sincere and open minded in assisting the client in this process, understanding that with each emotional discharge, he is helping the client to gain confidence, recover from past distresses and realise his full potential as a human being.

On the client’s part, he talks, discharges emotions, re-evaluates and heal from past distresses that are affecting him.

Emotional discharge is a process of self-healing from hurt, sadness and other distresses. It is a natural healing process to recover from sorrow and suffering. In Peer Counseling, emotional discharge plays an important role in helping clients realise past emotional distresses, openly express those suppressed emotions in a safe and confidential way, look for ways to resolve and recover from them, and move on to having a meaningful and fulfilling relationship with others.

Agreements of Peer Counseling

Introduction
Like everything in life, there are rules to follow. It is the same in Peer Counseling. The Agreements of Peer Counseling are to create an atmosphere of trust and security where the client is able to express themselves openly. Following that, they are then able to find ways to overcome the problems that they are facing.

Agreements of Peer Counseling
1. To allocate time equally
2. To protect confidentiality and privacy
3. To not deny or criticize
4. To not give advice or instruction
plus
5. To refrain as much as possible from smoking, drinking liquor or beverages containing caffeine, and sweets during sessions

The First Agreement - To allocate equal time
This only applies in group Peer Counseling. In this type of counselling, everyone will have the same amount of time to talk. The amount of time allocated is dependent on the number of participants. It can range from five to ten minutes.

The Second Agreement – To maintain confidentiality and privacy
Trust is important. The client must be able to trust the counsellor for him to talk openly about his problems. Therefore, the counsellor must maintain confidentiality and privacy. At no time should he divulge anything that was spoken during the session to anybody.

The Third Agreement - To not deny or criticize
A Peer Counselor must accept all that the client reveals during the session. Peer Counselers must neither judge nor criticize the client for whatever reason. A Peer Counselor’s opinions are irrelevant during a session. The time for the session is entirely the clients and they can use that time in any way they like. Peer Counsellors are there to provide support and listen.

The Fourth Agreement - To not give advice or instruction
Every human has the power to resolve the challenges that they face. Likewise, in Peer Counseling, the client is encouraged to recognise their problems by talking openly about it. Through that they are able to discover ways and means to resolve those problems.

Plus One - To refrain as much as possible from smoking, drinking liquor or beverages containing caffeine, and sweets during sessions
Alcohol, caffeine and sweets are known to alter moods. During Peer Counseling sessions, clients should be in full conscious control of themselves without the influence of external substances. Only when the client is in full control of their senses are they able to come to a rational decision to solve the problems they are facing.

Peer Counseling

Peer Counseling is always conducted by disabled persons with disabled persons as they are the best people to understand the challenges faced by each other. Peer counselling encourages disabled persons to come to realise their past distresses, find solutions to overcome it, set goals to achieve Independent Living and move on with life.

The goals of Peer Counseling are:

1. Recovery of self worth
   • Peer counseling allows disabled persons to be aware of our own feelings, abilities and regain confidence.
   • To learn about our wants and needs.
   • To be aware of and understand the obstacle to attain those wants and needs.
   • To fully express feelings (emotional discharge).
   • To conduct re-evaluation after achieving goals and to see whether those goals need to be changed or to explore other possibilities.
2. Rebuilding human relationships
   • Renewal of self-image.
   • Reconsideration and re-evaluation concerning relationships.
   • To build a positive supportive relationship with a counselor, and then build relationships with others.
3. Social reformation
   • Going back to live in the community to change attitudes, perceptions and environment.
   • Demonstrates that life is more meaningful when lived through mutual support.